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Author: cyberwoman Subject: Bi Confusion
fly@ant
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posted on 06-01-2004 at 09:00 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Bi Confusion

I find it interesting to observe many bi women in hetero relationship married or not.

I've been reading coming out stories and I think some people think they are bi and then realise they are lesbian.

I do like guys, but I'm more turned on by girls. Does that make me a lesbian or?

I also think that you can be bi and be 70% gay and 30% straight.

Would a lesbian consider dating a bi girl?
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fruitjuice
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posted on 06-01-2004 at 09:54 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


I have no qualms about dating a woman I know to be bisexual. The only condition I would expect is for the time we are dating and in a relationship she is only with me and therefore in a lesbian relationship. If she had a man in that time I would drop her like a hot cole... In a relationship, my gf is mine and I am hers in mutuallity
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Naomi
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posted on 06-01-2004 at 09:57 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


Labels are a pain, aren't they? I don't believe in the gay/straight dichotomy. It seems to me that sexuality is rather a continuum and at the extremes are gay and straight. Probably for most people they will experience being somewhere in between, depending upon lots of factors.

For sure many people grow up suppressing non-straight attraction and might only fully realise their orientation later in life. Many others realise that early.

Where people are neither gay nor straight, this may or may not present problems. Some people seem to feel that it's a simple matter of choosing a person and that commitment will settle the matter once and for all. Commitment might ensure monogamy, but it doesn't stop the very real need for intimacy with the other sex, male or female.

I've found that many lesbians avoid and even despise bi women. Having looked at some of the bi sites it's very easy to understand exactly why.

What I would say to you is, just make good friends, and be frank and honest with the women you might date. You're still very young and it might be a while yet before you decide how you want to live your life.

I'm guessing that many lesbians wouldn't date a woman who was bi, and you have to admit, if you were someone looking for a long-term one-on-one relationship, you would think there was much less chance of that with someone who was bi. Effectively, the risk of infidelity is possibly doubled.

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myway
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posted on 06-01-2004 at 11:10 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


Well I started out lesbian and then with time I gradually realised that I'm bi. It's not smack in the middle of the spectrum as per say but it's not at the very end of the extreme either so yeah I'm bi.
It's true some lesbians despise bi ppl or even think they are lesbians in denial. I also know that some ppl think bi means you sleep around which is really a myth. I for one am a loyal lover and I agree with that person that left a reply and said as long as the bi person she's going out with is exclusively going out with just her it's ok.
Bi just means you can love either gender, it doesn't mean your probability of cheating on someone is doubled nor does it mean your chances of finding the right person is doubled (tho I wish it did).
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kit32
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posted on 06-02-2004 at 10:12 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


I believe every one of us is born with the 'capability' (for lack of another word) to be attracted towards the same sex and at some point we just become more aware (or perhaps allow ourselves to be more open to the option) of which sex we may prefer.
Isn't that why it's called a "sexual preference"?

Personally, I prefer women. Haven't been with a guy in 23 years and have no desire to. Gimme a soft set of titties to snuggle up to over a scratchy face anyday! I just don't enjoy sex with a guy, but they're definitely good for some things (ie. taking out the trash, lifting heavy furniture, killing spiders etc lol).
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snakeskin
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posted on 06-02-2004 at 10:17 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
100% gay!!!!!

I'm 100% gay, but would have no problem dating a bi woman. The only condition I would have is that when she is in a relationship with me, then she's in a lesbian relationship. I'd be worried about getting dumped for a man, but then again a lesbian could dump me for another woman. As long as she was honest, sincere, truthful and faithful there would be no problems.
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nightguest
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posted on 07-30-2004 at 10:11 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


I agree with Naomi's comments about sexuuality being a continuum.....you are not 100% gay or straight, of 50/50 bi....most people are a shade of grey, be it lighter or darker...I have many, many bi friends - and also 'straight' friends, who occasionally sleep with members of the SAME sex and also 'gay' friends, who sometimes sleep with member of the OPPOSITE sex. Go figure. Stop putting labels on people is my suggestion. As for bi people being more likely to cheat as they have more 'choice', well, that's only true if 'attractive' people are more likely to cheat as they have more choice....or people who live in the city (as opposed to in the country with less people)....or people who work for large corporates surrounded by people (as opposed to self-employed people who work from home by themself) - GIRLS STOP IT!! If somebody is going to cheat, they will. Period. It's not related to their; sexuality, looks, etc. It's related to the sort of PERSON they are. Learn that life comes with no guarantees...there is NO such thing as a 'safe bet'...forget about choosing a partner based on whether she is gay or bi - and start thinking about choosing a partner based on whether she has any integrity. That's the only guarantee you will get.

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cyberwoman
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posted on 07-09-2005 at 09:30 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
help!

I must say thank-you and god-bless to the last messenger.

I am a newly bi/gay woman in a new relationship. Someone please help me!!! I met this girl through my best friend & I fancied her straight away, to be honest I was only looking for an experience but as time went on I started to fall for her and as a woman I'm now crazy in love. However I've met most of her friends and they all seem to have a very agressive manner, approach etc... I am what you would call a lipstick Lesbian and I hate crowds, large packed clubs and bars, my girlfriend on the other hand loves drama and constantly has a chip on her shoulder. She also likes the fact that her ex still calls and is on a mission to split us up. If i'm honest this prob isn't the person for me, but after meeting her, her pals & searching the web for young professional sane black women, i'm starting to think hey where r all the nice, loving, hugable, sweet and honest women. I am more than capable to commit and be faithful and expect the same back in return. someone help, advise, save me from this unpredictable lover, girlfriend of mine. (:)
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